Title: Transparency
Year Completed: 2023
Size: 30' × 40'
Technical: Digital Print on Canvas

The masks we wear to protect ourselves from trauma protect ourselves, but don’t allow us to heal ourselves until we shed them away. Through therapy and peeling back the layers I am learning how to be myself without the masks. Shown here in my artwork by manifest-ing in different layers in my self-portrait and showing how they are put on in the different layers of environments in the background. The themes seen in the masks represented the spectrum of human experience. The framework was that the masks represented the many ways we interact with the world: as individuals (depicting our subjective feelings and physical being), as partners and friends in relationships, as community members, and our role in society and our self as a life story that evolves over time. By showcasing the differ-ent layers of masks and how they are put on in various environments in the background of my artwork, they are visually representing the complexity of human experiences and the different personas we adopt in different situations. This adds depth and complexity to my self-portrait, allowing viewers to reflect on their own experiences and the masks they wear in their own lives. It's a thought-provoking way to explore the theme of personal identity and how it can be influenced by our surroundings. My personal experiences in-spire the artistic expressions in my self-portrait. It's common for artists to draw from their own experiences and emotions to create meaningful and authentic artwork. By incorporating my own experiences into this self-portrait, I was able to infuse it with a deeper sense of personal meaning and connection. It allows viewers to connect with my artwork on a more intimate level and understand the emotions behind it. It is a powerful representation of the masks we wear in different situations, and I hope my interpretation of my personal experiences have helped shape its message. The layers have powerful symbol-ism and I wanted to include them in my artwork. The crack around my eye represents the process of healing and breaking free from the layers of trauma. It shows my journey to-wards emotional growth and self-discovery, where I no longer need to rely on masks for my projection. This adds an element of vulnerability and authenticity to my self-portrait, as it reflects my willingness to confront and overcome past experiences. It's a testament to my strength and resilience, and I hope it will resonate with viewers who have also experienced their own healing journeys. I have Complex childhood trauma and it greatly influenced the creation and interpretation of the artwork mentioned above. The masks in the artwork, representing different aspects of human experience, may reflect the ways in which individuals who have experienced complex childhood trauma protect themselves or present different personas to the world. These masks could also symbolize the various coping mechanisms and defense mechanisms developed as a result of the trauma. The in my artwork I aim to convey the complexity and multifaceted nature of the individuals' experiences, highlighting the layers of emotions, struggles, and resilience that accompany complex childhood trauma. The use of masks could serve as a visual representation of the internal struggle to reconcile different parts of oneself, as well as the need to shield or hide certain aspects due to the trauma's impact. Additionally, the I hope my artwork may seek to evoke empathy, understanding, and awareness regarding complex childhood trauma. By visually depicting the different facets of human experience affected by trauma, it helps viewers recognize the challenges and pain individuals with such experiences may face. It also encourages dialogue and support for those affected by complex child-hood trauma, fostering a sense of compassion and solidarity. Overall, the artwork aims to both capture the individual experiences and collective impact of complex childhood trauma, shedding light on this often-overlooked issue and promoting healing and under-standing. The use of masks in my artwork symbolizes the coping mechanisms and defense mechanisms developed because of complex childhood trauma in several ways. Firstly, masks can represent the need to protect oneself and hide certain aspects due to the impact of trauma. Just as individuals may wear physical masks to shield their identity or emotions, the use of masks in the artwork can indicate the psychological masks that individuals develop to cope with their experiences. These masks can serve as a defense mechanism, allowing individuals to present a different persona to the world in order to protect them-selves from further harm. Secondly, masks can symbolize the internal struggle to reconcile different parts of oneself. Complex childhood trauma often leads to fragmented identities, where individuals may feel disconnected or dissociated from different aspects of their experiences and themselves. The use of masks in the artwork can visually represent this internal struggle, as individuals try to navigate and integrate their various personas, memories, and emotions. Furthermore, masks can also metaphorically depict the layers of emotions, struggles, and resilience that accompany complex childhood trauma. Just as a mask covers one's face, the use of masks in my artwork conveys the layers of emotions and experiences that many individuals may carry within them. These masks may serve as a visual representation of the multifaceted nature of their trauma and the complex coping mechanisms they have developed to navigate their lives. Overall, the use of masks in the artwork symbolizes the ways in which individuals protect themselves, hide certain aspects, navigate their fragmented identities, and cope with complex childhood trauma. It visually portrays the complexity and multifaceted nature of their experiences, shedding light on their struggles and resilience. The masks in the artwork visually represent the internal struggle and fragmentation experienced by individuals who have undergone complex childhood trauma in several ways. Firstly, the use of masks can depict a sense of concealment or hiding, as individuals may feel the need to protect themselves and hide certain aspects of their experiences from others. This can reflect the internal struggle of trying to maintain a sense of normalcy while carrying the weight of their trauma. Additionally, the masks can symbolize the disjointed or fragmented identities that often result from com-plex childhood trauma. Just as a mask covers and hides one's face, individuals with frag-mented identities may feel disconnected from different parts of themselves and their experiences. The use of masks in the artwork visually portrays this internal struggle to reconcile and integrate these different personas, memories, and emotions. Furthermore, the masks can also convey the layers of emotions, struggles, and resilience that accompany complex childhood trauma. Similar to how masks have multiple layers, individuals with trauma may carry a multitude of emotions and experiences within them. The artwork visu-ally represents these layers, showcasing the complexity and multifaceted nature of their trauma and the coping mechanisms they have developed. Overall, the masks in the art-work serve as a visual representation of the internal struggle, fragmentation, and complexity experienced by individuals who have undergone complex childhood trauma. They depict the need for protection, the challenge of integrating fragmented identities, and the layers of emotions and experiences that individuals carry with them. The masks visually represent the challenge of integrating fragmented identities resulting from complex childhood trauma by portraying a sense of disconnection and concealment. Just as a mask covers and hides one's face, individuals with fragmented identities may feel the need to hide or mask certain parts of themselves due to the trauma they have experienced. The masks in the artwork can symbolize the various personas or identities that individuals develop as a way to cope with their trauma, but also highlight the difficulty of integrating these fragmented parts into a cohesive whole. The masks may appear disjointed or mis-matched, reflecting the struggle of bringing together these different aspects of oneself. Overall, the visual representation of the masks conveys the complexity and challenges involved in integrating fragmented identities resulting from complex childhood trauma. There are specific techniques and symbolism used in the artwork that enhance its ability to convey the struggles and complexities of integrating fragmented identities. The techniques and symbolisms include: 1. Use of contrasting colors: The use of contrasting colors to represent the different aspects of one's identity. For example, bright and vibrant colors may represent the positive or more integrated parts of oneself, while darker or muted colors may represent the fragmented or hidden aspects. 2. Fragmented composition: The composition of my artwork was intentionally fragmented and disjointed, to symbolize the challenges of integrating multiple identities. This was achieved through techniques such as overlapping the elements, or shattered imagery. 3. Symbolic objects or motifs: The artwork may incorporate symbolic objects or motifs that represent different aspects of one's identity or the trauma experienced. For example, broken mirrors can symbolize shattered self-image, while the blurry aspect of the layers, represent the process of not fitting together fragmented parts. 4. Expressive gestures or body language: I used expressive gestures and body language to convey the struggles and complexities of integrating fragmented identities. This included a closed off posture, tense, conflicted expressions, and gestures of concealment for protection. 5. Layering or transparency: I utilized the techniques of layering with transparency to visually represent the layers of emotions and experiences carried by individuals with fragmented identities. By overlaying multiple images and using translucent materials to create a sense of depth and complexity. These are just some of techniques and symbolism that I used to enhance the artwork's ability to convey the struggles and complexities of integrating fragmented identities resulting from complex childhood trauma. This is the secret and my artist's vision and intent.